Training is what?

My boss asked me to prepare system training to user... Crap, i hate those stupid user that ask lots of weird question. Hey, use your brain to think before u talk, it is better to keep your mouth close than open your mouth to show your stupidity...

Okay, how do you consider ourselves as a good trainer? very talkative? very expert? very professional? or perhaps very informative?

Usually, there are only 2 parties involve in a training session. The trainer and the trainee. The trainer is a person who train and trainee is a person to be trained. That simple., if you can fulfill these requirements, then you can make a training successful. For me, the truth are :

For Trainer must-do and Trainee must-feel

• Talk smething that they never see before and say something that they never heard of;
• Rather than being Clever, u must clever in Bullshitting + Loud + Convincing for what ever thing is better;
• Act like you know everything, but you also need to know when to turn stupid;
• Idolize yourseld as godlike, but yet stay near beside to them;
• No Mr.Bean pondan act and look, or u get crap from them.
  

If you can do all these, Congratulation, these will make their mouth open wide, look blur yet and somehow understand. Else, you will be an asshxle for them to shot...

In my experienced, giving technical training does not mean you must talk in technical terms. My technical means you need to talk something until they don't understand. If you talk something that they can see or people know, training for what?

Training is when you are talking to those clever people, where they know Beijing is in China, no point saying that panda bear is from Africa. If u say so, sure they will condemn you gao gao. You must convince them that panda bear is come from Africa, but then migrated to china long time ago. Or, Beijing have many panda bear, and Beijing gave Africa some panda bear. If you have such skill and confident, people also will believe that penguin lives in arab.